This is my story that is not yet complete,infact it has only started now..

It starts with me getting admitted in a local top college,which is not so famous in country,but in the locals,it is really popular.

Initially I had no idea it would be a place I will start loving so much, cuz I hated it so much,none among my friends knew about the college. I always felt left out among my old friends n classmates,who were at better place for engineering or commerce,whatever it be.

Then one day, my second week in college maybe, I saw this guy,who I thought was a senior but was equally confused that he maybe a classmate as well.. I adored him from the first sight of his, in the auditorium… He resembled one my earlier crush ‘SSS’ so much that I couldn’t stop staring at him and wished he takes my introduction if he is a senior.

Just the next day in college,I saw him again, this time, he didn’t look that cool that he was looking  the previous day, But even then, I just couldn’t get my eyes off him.

And the next day,God is SO great,he was on his bike near my bus,I didn’t notice him then.One of my seniors in the bus called me down and asked me to give my intro to a bunch of 4 senior guys including HIM.

Ohh, I was so captivated… by his looks,his eyes that were so deep and so….. deep!!!

Although it was somebody else asking me questions,I was answering to him, straight looking into his eyes and was falling for him.

Some days just went by, I was so much wishing he comes and atleast passes a smile to me,but it never happened,I was still confused if he was a senior in real.

Then one day,on my first mid-sem exam, He was sitting in the gallery leading to the back(to the lawn) of the main building,he called me up and said,”I am sorry I took your ragging that day,I am your classmate only,and I was being ragged,and it was my task to rag you,dont mind”.

I said,”I knew it. Its O.K.”.. and smiled back and left.

That was it, after that, no HI BYE,not even any smile passing.

Throughout my exams,I used to go to the library once in the morning,and he used to be there sumtimes, He was mostly in his blue tee,that gave him his name in my group,BLUE,my friends started referring to him as BLUE. hehe.. After exams,I used to follow him sumtimes,as he was my EYE-TONIC, my NSP(NAIN SUKH PRAAPTI).. I had started imagining myself with him.

I never got any guts to go straight to him and start talking.

Can U believe it,among all this NSP thing during my first mid sem exam,I never knew his name,That is the reason we used a code for him,BLUE,LOL.. and on the last day of the exam,My friend,my confidant in college(will call her ART here in my blog) challenged me to ask him his name,and I couldnt..

But again,GOD IS SO GREAT,My friend in the bus ( MADDY) started talking about him, and told me his name(the name s AKS) and believe me she had no idea I had a crush on him,she was just telling me like that.. I couldnt stop thanking GOD that day. And the first thing I did after getting to know his name was to message ART.. “GOT HIS NAME,ITS AKS”.. n she thought I actually asked him, but no,it was all a co-incident.. a sweet co-incident… luck-by-chance, SERENEDIPITY !!

And just then,another friend from my group,SHREY,sent me a text telling me she got to know he is a dropper frm bansal and is cousin to one of the girl in the same class as he is… and adviced me to first befriend the girl cousin and then go for him,But no, I cant do that.

Days went by,maybe I was now losing interest in him, and moreover I had almost stopped going to college after exams.

Days just went by,I never saw him again,till next mid sem exams..

I had not attended any of the class till the second mid sem exam, n there were rumours about me in my class… AL left the college and similar craps,and that I was debarred from exams,but I spoke to my teachers and sat for the second mid sem exam.. Then,MY real college fun started,I made a beautiful group,during the exams only,The group consisted of ME,MON,MITHOO,KATE,ART,APSARA,KANI.All others except me,are from the Computer Science branch,and me, I belong to the ROYAL MECHANICAL… and I m really proud of that.

So, during the second mid sems, I spotted BLUE going for the exam. And I told myself,how could you have forgotten such a crush of yours. Even friends from my group asked me and I said, NO , It was all for fun, I was not serious, I still take him as an NSP… maybe they had a hint or something !!

Kani called him a BULLDOG after noticing him face to face, I dont know why, but even I agreed on that,though now,I totally disagree.

It was after the first day of the second mid term exam that I went online and searched him in a mutual friend list,and was so happy to find him on orkut,I instantly sent him a fren request.. which he approved of the next day only.

I saw his snaps,gawd, they were so nice,or maybe they just seemed nice to me,as I was so much falling for him,I had started thinking a lot about him.

I told all my friends the other day after exam that he had accepted my fren rquest and scrapped me asking if was the same girl from mechanical.. I replied.. yea, I m.. and asked him to recall the ragging intro that I had given him.

His social site profile showed he ws single,still looking for a match,and that he was a simple guy who was among the wannabe kool dudes!!

This is how the second mid term got over,and it was just a week for our EXTERNAL practical papers to start,I started going to college for completing my work,all my due lab experiments and buttering teachers for good marks and getting all my records checked.. It was around then that I noticed him NOTICING me.. and felt starnge,cuz as it is IM not at all a good looker,am only average,Not slim,not SOOOO FAT,scarry faced,but got nice height and persona.

So we started scrapping each other once in two days !! Enuff for a start man..

Our external practical papers started,and on the first day,after the exam,I passed a smile to him,he did smile back but turned away. That was our first face to face encounter.

The other day,after the practical,he was passing by,I smiled at him,he smiled back,said HI and came to me asking how my practical was,I said.. it was good,what about you? He had Mechanical Workshop that day,He said it was fine,he had the ARC WELDING job and did it fine. that was it.

(My mentioning about the ARC WELDING thing is worth a note because call it luck or coincidence,I too got ARC welding in my own Mech. Workshop Practical paper)

The next 2 days, I didnt have any practical,He scrapped,”What happened,all prac exams over? Not coming to college..”

This scrap made me so happy,he actually noticed,I replied, NO, Still have 2 of my paper,on the same day that he has.

So the next day,He wished me luck.. though my exam was not at all good that day,but felt good about him atleast.

And in the canteen,we exchanged SMILES… twice!! And that day he was looking his best in a full sleeve purple n black shirt.

On our second last practical paper,we wished luck again..

and after the exam got over,me and my friends went to Student Development Cell to inquire about the events of our technical cum cultural festival called RENNAISSANCE.

We did so and decided to do something in the fest.

On the last day of our exams, two of my friends had auditions for boot-strapping(group dance event),even I was thinking of giving the audition,but couldnt select a song to dance on.

There I met AKS,even he was giving the bootstrapping audition but couldt as he had hurt himself in a stunt,we spoke for around 15 mins standing there,discussing about events.

The same day we had a road show in our canteen about renaissance awareness and me n AKS happened to talk there as well,a little though.

That day,I got home late,all because I had to stay in college late to see the audition, Aks gave one audition for an event called ADAA(fashion walk competition),while going back,he was on his bike and he baid me BYE in such a sweet way I still have the image of him on the bike baying me BYE BYE…

The same day,I happened to have a sneak peak in my bus mate’s cellphone,which had AKS’S number,that I noted down instantly. I told about it to ART,who was advicing me on ways to start a phone conversation vid AKS.

Things had started working out, I thought. It was going so fast now.

I was getting what I wanted.

And then the next day, ART called me up informing that she was selected in Bootstrapping and she spoke to the coordinator responsible for this event,she had asked her to merge in the guy’s group and make a group to dance together in,and I knew for sure that the group was AKS’S group.

She asked me to give in to dancing and call up AKS telling him that the coordinator for bootstrapping wants us to merge with his group.

I did that,I called him up, and told him that,and he was so confused,he said he will tell me after an hour or so.

He called me up after half an hour asking me what exactly was going on and said yea,it was all ok with him to merge the group.

He again called me up in the evening to confirm that we were merging and inquired how good we are as dancers as guys in his group are beginners,It was same with me as well.

2 days later,we were in a classroom,dancing together on tunes of a bully choreographer..we had formed a group of 3 girls(me,art and shrey) and they were 5 guys. We were looking for all the videos we can perform on n we could never decide…

We discussed so many songs… we danced as well.

The next day,we were roaming to allot ourselves a room for dancing.

And till we got the room,we were sitting and chatting.

And then I got a chance for my ragging revenge, I was taking his intro and asked him about his interest in girls and all, well, he straight away told me,He was not looking forward to make a girlfriend in our college,it was a direct reply to me that he didnt see his girl in me,OK,it happens.

The same day after we finally got a room to practice,we practiced some SALSA step, all the close dancing and stuffs,n I was paired against AKS only,luckily.. we danced,and that was my best day in college then.

Just the next day in college, was to be the worst day in college,he came and told me,we were going nowhere,our group was useless as we couldnt arrange for more girls and even our choreographer was less interested,and then he hd offer from other dancing group,his MSP group.. so, that day we had to break our group and he ended up dancing for MSP…

I felt damn bad that day,but atleast we became friends,thanks to bootstrapping.. LUCK-BY-CHANCE, SERENEDIPITY.. hehe

Next day when I went to college to fill up my external theory paper exam’s form, I didnt notice him,I didnt face him… All because I was still feeling bad about the break up,and after that,he didnt even send any text,just scrapped me once.So the days went by,we didnt talk for many days,he was practicing for renaissance.. and I was home, not studying at all, Roaming all around my town to guide my frnz who had come up from another state.

One day,just 3 days prior to the festival,Me n AKS met online,chatted for around 2 hours and Igot to know, He was selected in ADAA but backed out of it due to dance and then His group was not selected for performance in bootstrapping,so he was left with nothing to do in renaissance,I on one hand felt good, and on the other felt bad for him.

We chatted about music and stuffs,I told him some songs which,the other day I saw on his video’s list on the networking website we were friends on.

Maybe now,we had possibilities of being friends…

On the 1st day,he called me up asking why I didnt come to the festival,I couldnt go that day,none of my friends were going,thats why.

The next day,I went to the festival,Had fun,but he was not there.

And then the next day,He msgd me asking if I was coming for the rock band event,I said Yes,and We met in the college that day.That was among my favourite days in college, we stayed together and hooted and danced a bit,he was standing with me…

This day,21 march,the rock band event show,was really among my favourite days all thanks to AKS.. he was standing with me. my friends Mithoo n MON were getting furious at me for my strange behaviour to them beacause of AKS company,but I was feeling ,they should understand as they were my best friends. Aks was wearing a white tee which had a print of “101 REASONS Y I LOVE U”, I noticed it and asked him,he said,”You dont read it na”.. He was really being sweet that day… I so much had fun with him,just his presence around me made me feel good.

I was looking forward to a more fun day on the last day of the fest,we were supposed to meet then also like in the rock band event.

Mithhoo was angry I guess,she said I was behaving starnge ever since I started being with Aks,maybe she felt I was ignoring them,But I was not, I only needed them more,I wanted them to involve with Aks..

She and MON didnt accompany me wid Aks on 22,they were on their own,n me, Kate, Art, Shrey,kani n Apsara were together with Aks n his one more fren,dancing and hooting together,in a circle.

Before that,when kate,apsara,kani and shrey wasnt wid us,it was only me,art and aks together,trying to have fun,art clicked a pic of me n him together,my first pic with him,n he said it was not good and was asking to delete it,My sweet fren ART,did not… so sweet right?

So, after we formed the circle,Aks kept his helmet in the middle,art put her cam in the helmet and we started dancing around it… on all the songs being played on the stage, caring a damn wht was happenin on stage,LOL.

There was this moment when the song “EK DIN TERI RAAHON ME” was played,it is a perfect song for couple dancing. Kate,apsara,kani had left till then,and suddenly it occured to me,I asked AKS we if could dance close.. he said OK, n we actually danced, for around a minute… we danced, infront of everybody, I cared damn about the coments I was getting, But I danced, WOWOWOWOWOW…  it was my best moment in the college, Art didnt approve of it,she said it was foolish of me, maybe it was,but I felt good in that foolishness of mine. I will always miss it.

That is how the last day of the festival ended, and we have not spoken ever since, its 24th today.. and we have exam starting 2morro,for which, i m not at all prepared,m all lost in his thoughts… I m so much falling for him now, I wish he falls for me as well,I wish he starts loving me, I wish he starts Loving me like mad… I want him to be mine, I love him,Or IS IT JUST A CRUSH.. well, CRUSH, i will console myself by calling it a crush because I think I may not get him.. all I want now is HIM.. I think of him everytime now..

Aks, I want you as a FRIEND atleast…otherwise..I will regret not having you in my life… !!!

25-03-09

Had an exam today,my first semester exam,and I was not well prepared,last night all I did was to watch A WALK TO REMEMBER.. I saw him before the exam,he was wearing a greenish striped shirt which looked damn hot on him.. He came to talk to me after the exam and we walked out of the exam centre together discussing about how our exam was.. and after that,I came home,widout any further conversation vid him.

Today he forwarded a text .. slambook text.. and I told him I like his company and that he is very adorable,sweet and friendly. He is such a dumbo, didnt get any hint from this. And he told me that he thinks I m good,diff from other girls and unique,and asked me to remain the same and that we r good friends,he doesnt message me much,but what he messages,i never delete,cuz its from HIM.. n I love him, its tuff NOT to THINK about him.

Aks,U r such a sweetheart,remain the same,even if u dont love me,never ignore me,i want nothing in return of my love for you,just ur frencip is enuff but this heart is so greedy,always wants more,N it hopes for sumthing more everytime he is around.

28-03-09

Another exam… I again didn’t wish him luck b4 exm… Idiot he didn’t msg me anything, I know he is not at all interested… Today I met him after exam,in college…. N spoke to him for around 20 mins alone,standing in the parking lot,he was looking so very nice today,shirts suit him better than tees,actually he s killer in anything he wears..

We spoke about games,exam,sport,jaipur.. so much in so little time,was he interested or he was just passing his time? I dont know,all I know is that he atleast stayed vid me,and we spoke.. Each moment spent with him memorable

Do u have any idea AKS, there is someone on this earth,in ur own college,who likes you soo much..

31-03-09

I had the worst exam today, physics ..

Met him after exam,didnt want to see him today, but we met.. went to canteen.. and spoke a little, no sign of conversation after that…!!!

Bad day indeed… met Ayu also today,had seen her after so long.. I was in two mind yesterday,between my ex n Aks… theres still a confusion,n I know love has no confusion… SO, NOW… IS IT LOVE?? NO….

       

Exams got over… N just the next day.. we met online !!
We chatted whole nite… can u believe it, first nite,  7 hours.. chatted abt each other, had put up questions, discussed crushes and love and all… Regular 7 nights.. a week.. Wht not did we chat, we came more closer.. We hung out together.. at a shoppin hub of the city,for 4 hours,he ws just with me,looking at me, smiling at me, arm wrestled wid me,Cared fr me,N at last, I had a 2 km bike ride wid him,I smelled him.. He doesnt knw abt tht.. LOL..

After all these.. at college, we met.. and 6 hours, continuously, we were together,alone,and talking.. discussing life… And even after all these, I m sure he doesnt like me that way, I mean see, I dont look as good, if that doesnt matter,then I guess, I will never match his expectations for his Love.. or will I?

Last night,maybe our last chat, Thts cuz his mom s coming bk, his freedom gone… We chatted abt love, he ws confused, rather frustrated, i DNt know wht he thought abt me, I kind of threw him hints.. N now i m so nervous, I dnt want to lose him as a friend atleast, and after being with him so much, I feel like he is the best guy I ever met, Now I M more thn sure, that I love him like a mad, If I dont get him, I will only regret later in life,not gettin the guy of my dreams, AKS, u make me complete,I only think about you these days,How do I tell it to you, I dont want to lose you as a friend, U r my precious friend, my love, whom I m gonna love forever, Will never ever forget you in life, Whn u r with me, I m just wih you, I dont think about anything else, I m nowhere else than with you, U make me feel special whn U are with me, please stay with me, forever n ever in life.. I will love you more n more with each day…

So, even after  his mum came, we continued chatting, but for 1 hr daily, that came down to 0 now…

And at college, I had best time, hanging out with him for hours…

But ever since classes started, I think he has stopped thinkin abt me so much.. I miss you so much AKS, I have a list of songs to dedicate to you!
This reminds me, he gave me his collection, beautiful collection.. And me too, I gave him my colectn of movies n music, hope he liked them, he did like one song, mere khayalo me aaja, tht ws my fav.. Abt my throwin hints at him, even he threw sm hints and with that, he threw some negative hints as well..

Never mind, I will try my best to get you AKS, I just wanna spend my life with you!!!!